Herald - Issue 419

17th February 2022 • The HERALD • Page 73 v THE NEXT HERALD IS OUT ON 10TH MARCH v HERALD RECRUITMENT PART TIME SCHOOL RUN DRIVERS REQUIRED We are currently looking for new drivers to fill rewarding, part time roles in our busy, family run business. We specialise in transporting disabled and vulnerable children and young adults with a range of special needs to school’s across Hampshire. All applicants must be physically fit, 100% reliable and punctual with a pleasant attitude towards others. A New Forest District Council Private Hire License would be an advantage, however, we can help you obtain this. In return we offer good rates of pay and a reliable and well maintained company vehicle. Our working days are Monday-Friday and approximately 17-20 hours per week during term times. These positions may suit retired or semi-retired persons but all applicants are welcome. To enquire in the first instance, please email: schooltransportsouthampton@gmail.com Poets Corner The Unwanted Visitor! by Dorothy Lockyer We dug up the lawn, it was full of weeds Prepared the soil, then sowed the seeds Covered the patch with netting so ne To stop the birds, on grass seed to dine. Gently watered with a very ne spray Hoping the sun would shine through the day. Checking frequently for a hint of green Excitement, when that rst haze was seen. It continued to grow, a lush new lawn So, imagine my shock one winter’s morn ere on the lawn a mound of fresh earth, is certainly was not a cause for mirth! I have a mole, he’s having a great time Excavating under this lawn of mine! I’ve tried to deter him with all my might But he leaves his calling cards every night! An Elderly Gentleman by Margaret Bell An elderly gentleman turned to me to say, I’ve got a feeling that today will be a bad day, What makes you say this, are you feeling alright ! No he said, I don’t feel so bright… Can I take you somewhere to sit and rest, No I’m alright dear I’m just being a pest! No you are not let’s find somewhere to sit, This feeling you have may be just a blip! We find a cafe and order some tea, He says you shouldn’t really worry about me… I will sit with you until you feel better, And then he showed me his NHS letter! What is this I quickly say? This is what will be spoiling my day, Please open it and read it for me, And carried on drinking his Earl grey tea! I smile at him and say your day will be good! He looks at me as if he’s misunderstood, Everything is good, no need to worry, The hospital don’t want you back, not in a hurry! So enjoy your day, and all your days ahead… Turn that frown into a smile instead, Let’s have a coffee to celebrate! And I think we should treat ourselves to chocolate cupcakes!! My Wifes Bucket List by Vic Lee On the top of my wifes bucket list, Is to do a wing walk. I don’t know if she really means it Or is it just, a load of idle talk. Well I saw there was an air display Over Bournemouth town. So I phoned up the airport controller Who said he’d phone around. He said he’d spoken to a pilot Who said he’d try and nd a way, en he told me I was lucky As the Red Arrows were doing a display. He said he had struggled to nd a spare plane And said this is the best that he could get. Your wife could carry out her wing walk On a Red Arrow jet. When I told her the good news, at she would get her wish To do her wing walk, And cross it o , her bucket list. At rst when she received the news She said she was feeling cock- a- hoop. But had reservations when she realised At 600 miles an hour her plane would loop the loop. SINGING WITH MICHAEL BALL by Vic Lee My Sally’s good at singing And would like to sing with Michael Ball, But not at any old venue It’s got to be, at the Albert Hall. She would like to go on his tour And sing in his Christmas show, Maybe even sing a duet with him Instead of Alfie Boe. The last night of the world Is her favourite song, She knows all the lyrics And never gets them wrong. And when it’s all over And the curtain falls, Sally will stand alone on the stage And enjoy the applause A PERFECT GIFT by Lexley George (written 2021) and I’ve already received enough to take me through countless breaks in power. Don’t want them oating in my bath I prefer a shower Also I don’t wear scarves No matter how pretty, they make me sticky and hot and the elegant drape I see in others on me becomes an untidy knot. Its got worse with each decade and I know that under the tree will be that ‘special surprise’ gi , just for me. So I must look delighted, open the wrappings with care Exclaiming “Oh just what I wanted”, whilst lled with inner despair. e soaps are no longer clean. ey have gone to pot. Sex, drugs and murders Are now the main plots. ere’s a man that loves his neighbour, But not in the right way! So they meet up in the barn And end up rolling in the hay. ere begins the love triangle, Full of lies and deceit. Everyone appears to nd it easy, It seems the norm to cheat. Oh then comes the shock pregnancy. A secret they must keep. e story is so depressing, It makes you want to weep. How can she fall for all those whoppers? She must be such a chump. And it amazes me how long ey manage to hide the bump. en all is turned to anger, ere’s knifes and guns upon the scene. ey loathe and hate each other Where love once had been. So the murders start, Bodies hidden in the woods. We knew from the start is a air would come to no good. Sometimes it is so stupid It causes you to swear, But you still sit and watch From the comfort of your chair. “What a load of rubbish”. Your husband suddenly explodes. But guess who’s sat next to you Awaiting the exciting next episodes! THE SOAPS ARE NO LONGER CLEAN! by Marlene Parmenter When I reached 50 I really don’t know why there seemed only two things People wanted to buy as gi s perfect for me, but - please just listen to my plea and DON’T BUY scarves or candles ey’re really not for me. I don’t like scented candles, they make me sni and sneeze,