Herald - Issue 415

18th November 2021 • The HERALD • Page 69 v THE NEXT HERALD IS OUT ON 9TH DECEMBER v PART TIME SCHOOL RUN DRIVERS REQUIRED We are currently looking for new drivers to fill rewarding, part time roles in our busy, family run business. We specialise in transporting disabled and vulnerable children and young adults with a range of special needs to school’s across Hampshire. All applicants must be physically fit, 100% reliable and punctual with a pleasant attitude towards others. A New Forest District Council Private Hire License would be an advantage, however, we can help you obtain this. In return we offer good rates of pay and a reliable and well maintained company vehicle. Our working days are Monday-Friday and approximately 17-20 hours per week during term times. These positions may suit retired or semi-retired persons but all applicants are welcome. To enquire in the first instance, please email: tccsoton@gmail.com HERALD RECRUITMENT VACANCY Hairworks is looking for a fully qualified, experienced stylist. SELF-EMPLOYED To take over existing column in January 2022 Please call 023 8089 4955 Leave a message and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can. Poets Corner Re-living my Childhood by Vic Lee Hair Care by Marlene Parmenter THE FOREST by Lee Owen Going to get my morning paper, I thought I’d have some fun, Re-kindling my childhood, By playing knock and run. Going up to the door, I rang the door bell, Then I suddenly remembered; I had to run like hell. It was then that I realised I had a problem, For I just couldn’t run; As I’ve always walked with a stick, Since I was sixty one. I’d also forgotten how much times had changed And how CCTV camera’s are everywhere; And my antics were soon posted on YouTube, For the entire world to share. Soon the clip went viral As it had received so many views; I just couldn’t believe it, I’d even made the evening news! Hush the forest has gone to sleep e snow outside so cold so deep Birds sitting high in the trees Winter winds falling leaves Furry creatures’ way underground We feel their movement but hear no sound Horses stand in a ring so bright Waiting for the morning light People out walking their dogs Forestry men cutting logs e mist rolls in across the elds Covering the forest in its wintery shield SEND YOUR POEMS TO 2 HIGH STREET, HYTHE SO45 6AH I was fed up with me hair, It always looked a mess. Every single day It was causing me some stress. If I tried to style it In half an hour it would be at. It was so straight and limp I’d have to wear a hat. I tied it up with slides, Trying to look alluring. But all I succeeded doing Is appearing rather boring! It’s o to the hair dressers, But rst I have to choose Which hairstyle will suit me, On the internet I peruse. Pixie, shag or crop, Feathered or angled Bob. I need bangs to hide my wrinkles ey do the perfect job. en there’s all those products. ‘Cos a er you’ve had the axe You need every glue that’s going, Spray, paste or wax. Now did she really listen? For now I feel distraught. I’m looking in the mirror It’s much too bloomin short I cried in my husband’s arms, “I look just like a man”. He replied “With boobs like those, ere’s no way that you can! Not quite the right answer!!!! When a Husband Retires by Margaret Bell When a husband retires you might hear the wife say, So what’s on the agenda what you doing today!! Might take it easy the husband replies... Wrong answer he thinks by the look in her eyes! ere must be something that you need to do! Well at the moment I wouldn’t mind a brew! I’ll give it some thought whilst drinking my tea... I’m sure there is somewhere I needed to be! You haven’t mentioned you were going somewhere, I thought I had, avoiding that glare!! You know the bathroom could do with some paint! How many times have I heard that complaint! I think today I will have an easy day! What do you think is that ok? ere’s plenty of days and weeks ahead, So let’s go out for lunch instead! Ok she says with a smile on her face.. Lucky for him she’s now o his case, Wait for tomorrow and what will it bring, I’ve been retired one day - he says with a grin… MUDWRESTLE by Jennifer Jones e mud at Lepe liked my wellies It tried to suck them into it’s belly. But, I wasn’t going to let them go! Oh! No and I fought with every toe! Everyone enjoyed the show And, eventually the mud let go, But, I was covered head to toe! The rain has rained, The snow has snowed. The wind is calm, Now it has blowed. The sun will shine, The moon will glow. The sea will turn, And ebb and flow. We will all live, And we will die. So until then, We will get by. Then bells will toll, And heads will nod. Then “goodbye To that silly sod”. A crocodile roams the beach at Lepe! I know, I swear, I saw him there! I was only ve but I survived! I was in the sea to the knee, When he spotted me thinking I was tea! But, I saw him as he oated by! And, I gave a scream then a cry, “ ere’s a crocodile! I’m going to die!” en everyone stopped to search about, But there was only seaweed oating around So the crocodile was never found! But, I know, I swear, I saw him there! So be aware and take good care! Crocodile Seaweed by Jennifer Jones LIFES SPAN by Jim dolbear THE NEXT HERALD IS OUT ON 9TH DECEMBER